Friday, October 30, 2009

Halloween Eve

It is Halloween Eve and there is much to do. I barely got the last touches for SD's costume last night after having to sit with my sister because she got a flat tire or actually, a hole in her tire. I would have had all of her things ready much sooner, but life happens. As I mentioned before my grandma passed, so my life was pretty much all about driving back and forth from my home to my parents the last couple of days. Yesterday was pretty much the only free time I had and it needed to be done because, hello, she has to dress up for school. SD was a 50's sock hop girl. She looked quite adorable if I do say so myself. She wore this costume with her hair in a curled ponytail, white shoes and a pearl necklace. I made her cheeks rosy and her lips shiny. She felt so pretty compared to her costume with her mom last year. She so wanted to be a dead rock star and SD said she looked ridiculous. Her mom put something together that did not resemble what she wanted. Oh well, she tried. Tonight she is going to a trunk or treat and we will probably go to another one tomorrow as well in my hometown.
I love to dress up SD and she is finally starting to enjoy it as well. She still likes to do tomboyish things though and is not quite lady like. She is learning though. Everyone have a safe and fun Halloween!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

So much going on....

On Thursday PEG called being her unusually nice self and asked to pick up the SD on Friday from school because her husband had to be at the fire station by 6. (They live 3 hours away from us now.) We did not have plans for this past weekend so it would be okay, and she would be spending Halloween weekend with us anyways.
Friday morning I am brushing SD hair for school and notice some white flakes, thought maybe it was dandruff, I wish. Again she has lice, it was nits that were in her hair. After I pull them out SD mentions, oh yeah, there was one on my towel last night, look, there it is. Ughh! She was going to her moms this weekend so I had to call her and tell her. I decided to call her after my post op appointment. She sounds all defensive telling me she had nothing the prior weekend, which I find hard to believe based on the amount that SD had. PEG also asks me if I would be willing to help her fundraise for her son where I work. Her son was recently diagnosed with Autism and apparently they are having to foot the bill for his in home instruction (I really find that hard to believe, but whatever). Being the nice person I am, I said sure. I will leave the flyers out in our lunch room and on my floor. If people are interested cool, if not, I am not going to push it on them. We had the weekend worked out.
Friday around 1:30 my mom calls me to say that my grandma is not doing so well. I ask if I should get down there now or wait, she says yes, come. My grandma does not look at all. I spend the next 4-5 hours just sitting with my grandma while friends and family come to visit her. I hold her hand and tell her how much I love her. We all go home except for my sister who spends the night with her. Saturday I am on my way back to the hospital but stop at my parents first. Just as I am walking up to the door my phone rings and it is my sister, my grandma is gone. My sister is crying hysterically and I think she is with my grandma. My dad is walking out the house and drives me the 1/2 a mile to the hospital from his house. We walk in the room and my grandma is laying there peacefully. She had such a painful last couple of years and I am glad she is no longer in pain. I will miss her with all my heart and I know she will always be with me. My mom and her youngest brother were with her. They were standing over talking when my mom noticed that she was having a hard time breathing. She told my uncle and he went to get a nurse. When he walked back in he said her eyes are open, and she took one last breath.
This whole weekend has been a whirlwind after this. I had aunts driving from Texas to California but they did not make it in time to say good-bye. The next couple of days will be consumed with family and friends and funerals.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Been Sick

I was so excited to get this blog started and then I got sick. Right after that, I had endoscopic sinus surgery that left me out all last week. I am so behind in my school work and trying to catch up at work as well. I hope to be able to update my blog to current status.
This weekend was one of the weekends that BM picked up SD. We dropped her off at our mutual spot but BM was not going to get there until closer to 8 so SD stayed with her friends and SG(step-grandma, SD's mom). When we went to pick up SD at 6 on Sunday I thought they were possibly running late as I did not see BM's car nor SG's. Being that BM got rid of her cell phone I had to call SG. SG answered and she said that BM, her husband and son had left a little early and left SD there with the friend. I said, oh, okay, I wasn't sure if they were running or just left her here. For some reason SG got upset when I said just left her here, and asked if I was insinuating that her friend was not a person we could trust. That was not what I meant by that comment but, whatever. She says BM has a way of turning things around and she did the same thing. Nobody had bothered to let us know that they would be dropping SD off at 4. Needless to say, no encounter with BM this weekend.
For the weekend before BM called to say they would not be able to pick up SD because they could not afford it. When I had called back SD was already in bed so she asked me to please make sure to let SD know they couldn't pick her up because they did not have the money to drive a total of 12 hours that weekend. How lame is that? SD does not need to be worried with how much money anybody has. I relayed the message because I knew BM would ask the next day, and she did.
Something else that happened over the weekend of the 10th was SD had something to ask me. She didn't know how to ask, so I told just spill it. She wanted to know if she could have some feminine products with her because she did not want to have an accident at school and be embarrased. I told her sure, she can keep one in her backpack and just slip it into her pocket when she needed it. She is eleven, and over the summer when she was with SG and two of her friends(1 boy, 1 girl). The other little girl got up and the boy told her, "you have blood on your behind." The poor girl was mortified and went in to change and could no longer go swimming. SD is desparately trying to avoid that from happening to her. Unfortunately for me, it happened all the time, but that is why I always, always, carried a sweater to wrap around my waist. It was not due to lack of preparation, it was just, it was that bad that I could not change it quick enough before it would leak through. Anyhow, enough about girl stuff. Just wanted to share some of the bonding that SD and I get to have just hanging around the house on the weekends.
I will try to update with how we are were we are now. It was a long road and it keeps twisting and turning and we know it won't be over for another 7 more years.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Beginning

Let's start from the beginning. I actually met sd a few months before I met the bf. How is that you ask? Well I met my bf through a mutual friend. When I first met sd, boy was she a handful, and who could blame the poor child. She was 4 years old going on 5 and had been on a faster ride of her life than I had been in all of my 24 years put together. I met sd because our friend and I got together for a play date. I was supposed to take my niece but she ended up having to go somewhere so I took my nephew. Between the sd and my nephew there was a considerable age difference. She really did not want to have anything to do with him. What's funny, is now when they get together they play the best and have less fighting than any of the other kids.

I could tell that sd required lots of attention and when she did not get what she wanted, tantrums were in full force. She wanted to constantly be hugged and carried. What you need to understand is, sd never looks her age, she is the jolly green giant, poor girl. She has her mama's genes. She is currently 11 and is the same height as me (not that I'm tall or anything at 5'1"). But boy was she a heavy girl.

When I met sd, her parents had recently separated (2003). She was having a difficult time with things, who wouldn't when your world is being torn upside down. After this play date, it would be just over a year before I would see her again. Mind you, I had not met the bf yet. I met him a couple months later.

My friend and I used to work out together and we were both with the same dance group. Boy did she enjoy going out to eat after a work out (I would usually say no thanks, which is why I lost weight then but it all came back, and more). It was around November 0r December when I met my bf, but did not know then that he would be my bf. We went out to eat at a restaurant I had never eaten at and he happened to work there. My friend caught up with the bf as they hadn't seen each other in a while. We ended up driving up to one of the local tribal casinos and got to know the bf some. I was currently back in a relationship that I should not have been in and he was coming out of a relationship that ended pretty badly. So I never looked at the bf with interest.

I was sure I would see him again, but more as a friend than anything. I would have never imagined we would be were we are given our past relationships. More to continue....

New Blog for topics relating to the "step" life

I am new to wordpress, had a blog for maitaining my health but that is not working out. I got into reading others blogs about being step-moms and thought what a great way to be able to say what I want to others that could possibly understand me.

I am technically not an official step-mom as I am not married, though I have been with my boyfriend(bf) for 6 years this year. He had a 5 year plan and I asked him recently what happened to that plan. He had nothing to say. I have been in step-daughters(sd) life for this long as well. She is now 11 and I met her just shy of her 6th birthday. So I am no stranger to the drama that comes from the birth mom(bm).

I plan to update you on the history and background of how we are were we are. It is an absolute roller coaster, but I would not have it any other way as sd and I are close (though we will never be as close as she is with her mom) but we have some awesome memories together.

I can not wait to be able to hear from others for advice and comments on how to handle certain situations and how I can help others. I am 30 years old and have a good head on my shoulders. Let me just say, that me and the bf are counting down until sd is 18 and we do not have deal with bm on a constant basis.