Everyday musings in the life of step-parenting

Halloween

2011-11-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

It was our first Halloween going out as a family, none of my sisters and their kids joined us and I have to say, I rather enjoyed it. It was very tiresome for me as I am 17 weeks pregnant and DBF walks super fast (doesn't help that I'm only 5'1").
Bonus daughter was dressed as an old housewife, hair up in soft rollers, pajamas and robe. It was very original and everyone thought she looked cute. Baby E was a dragon, and was absolutely adorable. We had some practice runs in his costume, as he hated it the first couple of times we put him in it. He did wonderful at a Halloween party on Saturday and again on Halloween for his first experience trick or treating. He fell asleep midway, but when he woke up, it was dark and you could hear the kids being loud and he wanted to see everything. All in all, he had a good experience for his first Halloween. His first Christmas was spent in an incubator, so this year will have to be extra special for him. And I can't believe that he will be 11 months old in 8 days. He has gone from being a tiny 3.8 lb baby to a 22 lb healthy baby who is just an absolute joy to be with. His kisses are the best and I can't wait until he starts to talk.
I do have to mention, bonus daughter did an outstanding job this past quarter in her 8th grade year, 3.7 GPA, first time ever. She is doing so good and we are so very proud of her. She has come a long way.

Once again M.I.A.

2011-10-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

but with good reason. Life has been moving fast as lightening. I can't believe that little E is already 10 months old and so happy and full of energy. Who would of thought our tiny little baby would grow so quickly and so well. He did have a little minor procedure due to mommy and daddy not cleaning his boy parts properly. Let's just say, we will never, ever make that mistake again. Little E has been full on crawling for over a month now and as soon he mastered that, a few days later he was pulling himself to a standing position. He walks along the sofa and tries to walk along the walls but that proves to be a bit trickier. He loves to get into the cords and chew on them and push the buttons on the cable box but for some reason hasn't touched the speaker box, which is weird, but also very good that he does not do that.
Dear bonus daughter has been doing very well considering she had some trouble in school last month with another girl. She handled herself well and came through the situation proving she is not to be bullied. She had her first concert last night and due to Little E's not feeling well after his doctor's visit I had to miss it, what a bummer. She has been doing well this quarter in school, I'm very proud of how much she has improved, she will have 4 A's and 2 B's and she has earned some credits for when she gets to high school. We are looking at possibly enrolling her at a charter school rather than a public high school. They are just not the greatest here in our area.
I have finally have an official due date for the newest addition to our family, 4-10-12, making 14w3d today. This pregnancy looks like it will be even difficult than the last. I already have to take the 3 hr GTT as I failed the 1 hr and it's pretty early in the pregnancy still. I have a complete previa that we hope moves it's way up as the weeks progress. I have the possibility of having a second PPROM (Preterm Premature Rupture of the Membranes) due to the bi-corneate ute and don't forget that I have PCOS as well. The fact that we even conceived this child is a miracle in itself, having it born healthy is going to be a job.
I'll try to keep everyone posted, but I'm not really sure that anyone reads this blog, it's at least for my records.

Big News......

2011-08-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

Oh my dear lord in heaven, my son just turned 8 months old on the 10th, the bonus daughter turned 13 on the 13th and on the 12th I took a HPT and found out I am having my 2nd child. I will go in to the dr. tomorrow and find out the EDD. Excited and nervous (to say the least).
I picked up the bonus d on Saturday morning at 9:30 AM almost an hour and half away from our home. I was on time, yee haw!!!! No matter how hard I try I am always 10-15 minutes late, oops, oh well. I guess BM has been complaining about me being late, oh well, get over it, like you've never been late, ha. DSD wasn't feeling very well when I picked her up, kept saying her stomach hurt. It's hard to tell what it is with her though, she doesn't quite know how to explain the kind of pain that she has. I will say, all she had for breakfast was a donut, that her grandma had bought her, WTH kind of breakfast is that. I make us some plain ole quesadilla's for lunch, and she eats one, says she feels a little better. She goes to lay down and takes a nap, they had her up at 6:30 AM to go garage/yard saling. When she wakes her stomach is still bothering her, poor baby. By this time I had already started her b-day dinner and I was hoping she would get to enjoy it. We drove to the Cheese.cake Fac.tory as she wanted a cheesecake as her "b-day cake". She chose the Red Velvet Cheesecake. Shortly after we returned, she threw up. Went back to lay down and a few hours later threw up again. Needless to say she did not eat her dinner, nor did we cut into her cake. I went to get her some Pepto and she took that and went to bed for the night.
The next morning she woke up refreshed and feeling much better. We took it easy on the eating though and I had her eat a couple pieces of dry toast and some juice. She also got to go to the movies with her daddy, they went to see that new planet of the apes movie, I'm not interested in it, so me and baby stayed home. When they got back we headed to my parents house for my mom's b-day bbq, her actual b-day is today, Happy Birthday Mom! I was so glad that my niece and nephews got along so well with DSD, my niece usually starts to bicker with her.
I finally got around to telling DBF that we were going to be adding to our family on Monday evening. We are keeping it a secret until we are further along to 1. make sure there are no complications and 2. just because we still have the lil at only being 8 months old. We know this is going to be tough for us, but I ultimately believe it is what is best for our current lil, he will have a playmate close in age and they will get to hang and do everything together. Believe, I know that they will have their bickering as well, but with DSD being 13 already, she won't be around for that much longer, shoot, in 5 years she will be graduating High School and our lil will barely be going into Kinder.
School starts Monday for DSD, we got all her school shopping done last night. I was tired, to say the least after 2 hours walking around a store. I am so glad we got everything she needed there though, it was awesome. We even got a few things for the lil and a dress for mommy and some shorts for daddy.

Progressing

2011-08-05T11:01:00.000-07:00

Baby E has been progressing at his own pace, no problem with me, he is doing great. He has been rocking on knees and holding himself with his right arm, hand down, left arm, forearm down. He lunges himself forward this way and he knows how to turn himself around. Well, the other night (Wednesday), I noticed that he was completely on all fours and doing the rocking motion. He didn't move, but he held himself up for quite a while. He is so silly sometimes. I love that he cries until he is with me at night to go to bed. He doesn't want to have anything to do with daddy once momma is home. I'm not sure how long that will last, but for now, I will take it. It's all about the momma when she's home. Other than that, nothing new.
DSD will be 13 in just 8 days, holy moly, we will have us a teenager in the house. She will also be home in those 8 days after spending the entire summer at her momma's house getting to know her new baby sister Z.oie, she was born on June 19th or somewhere near there. I can't wait until she is home with us and gets to be a kid again. She has been a babysitter while she's been at the moms house. They even left the baby with her when she was only 3-4 weeks old, who is exclusively BF along with her 4 yr old autistic brother and friends 2 children, who I believe are in the 3-8 year old range. I'm glad her mom decided to come home "early", not sure how early that is but she had a bad feeling. I don't mind her holding, feeding and loving on the baby, but not being responsible for them. If something were to happen, it would tear her world apart. To me, that is just too much responsibility for a 12 year old.

Growth Spurts

2011-08-02T11:24:00.000-07:00

I think Baby E had a little growth spurt yesterday, 8/1/11. He tends to not really want to eat and is just overall moody and sleepy. I don't mind, I'm sure they hurt, his big sister gets them all the time, her legs are almost as long as my body, me, I never felt them, but I'm a shorty and I'm sure I didn't grow very much, ha. Even over the weekend, he wasn't really feeling his food. Maybe it was because it was hot out, over a 100 degrees or maybe the growing was already starting.
I took our little guy to get his pictures taken, we missed the whole 3/6/9/12 thing, so I am opting for the 4/8/12 thing. He came out absolutely adorable (I know, maybe I'm biased because I'm his mother, but he really did). He has this huge wide open, gummy smile. It makes my heart melt everytime I see them. He is just a week and a half shy of turning 8 months old. Time sure is flying by.
Baby E is currenlty rocking himself on all fours and he can get around by lunging his body forward. He does the occassional backwards thing, but not too often. And he is a great navigator, turning himself to face another direction to get to where he wants to go. He is not yet sitting up but he'll stay in the seated position for a few seconds. He usually just throws his body back so he can be laying down and rolling around. He's been eating his Stage 2 foods, we try to do the organic, but there isn't much variety so we throw in the regular baby foods as well. I wish I had more time to make him his own baby food, but I'm kind of glad that I haven't, I just read an article about the nitrates in fresh vegetables is not too good for babies.
SD has been at her mom's for the majority of her summer, babysitting her newborn sister and 4 year old brother. We got to see her for a short weekend a couple of weeks ago, we didn't get to do much but enjoyed just having her around. She comes home for good on the 13th, her birthday, she will be 13, a TEENAGER!!! She's having an okay time at her mom's, just did get to go on a few camping trips, but that's about it. It's not like we would have done very much with her here though, we really didn't/don't have the money to spending on trips and such. Having a baby is expensive, but so well worth it.
School will be starting on the 22nd and SD will be an 8th grader. I can not believe that next year, at this time, we will be preparing for her to enter High School. It's insane how fast time flies.
We are currently trying to find a bigger abode for our growing family. It seems we always have someone staying with us since Baby E was born. First it was my sister who stayed for at least 2 months. Then a friend (who is no longer really a friend) stayed for about 2-4 weeks and left abruptly due to a disagreement between him and DBF, oh well, we really our not losing out on that great of friend. And a few days after he left, DBF's brother broke up with his girlfriend and needed a place to stay. Except he has so much crap plus a dog, it is a little much for me. None of these people compensated us for anything. My sister did buy about $100 worth of groceries, the friend would eat out or at another friends home, and the last does not have a job, but is going to school, so he really can't help out right now.
I just wish we could have our little family, but doesn't look like that will be happening anytime soon.
I need to keep writing about the happenings of my little guy and the relationship that he is building with his big sister.

Getting to really see him & bringing him home....

2011-07-13T16:13:00.000-07:00

I finally get to see my baby, it's long into the afternoon already. I can barely move, c-sections are tough, but I must say, I have no idea what it feels like to be in labor. (In a way, I feel kind of cheated, but I'll get over it.) When I get to see Lil E, he no longer has the air vent and is breathing on his own. He is so tiny sitting in the incubator with wires and tubes around him. I hold him later in the evening when Daddy comes by to visit with us. We really shouldn't be taking him in and out as the temperatures in the incu are regulated for him because he is still unable to regulate his own temps.
Lil E stays in this room for only few days before he is moved to a less severe room. He remains there for about 2 weeks for a total of 3 weeks in the NICU.
We receive the call in December 31st (the day we call our anniversary, 7 years) about 10 AM that Baby is being discharged. Needless to say we were quite surprised as the previous day Lil E had not passed the car seat screening (he needed to sit in a carseat for 1 hour, and the last few minutes he destated) and when daddy was there feeding him he had stopped breathing, his lips were turning blue. I was unable to visit him for a few days because I had caught some kind of bug and did not want to pass it on to him. After receiving the call we had to go on a hunt for a car seat, we still didn't have one (he was 9 weeks early). It took us longer than we thought because we did not get to the hospital until about 4-4:30. I really wish we could have just showered and showed up, but I was really not anticipating him coming home until after the weekend.
He was so tiny in his car seat and I was so nervous for him to be in the car. He weighted 4.8 lbs when we brought him home, he was just so tiny. We really didn't sleep at all the first night, we were so worried how he would sleep. He was used to sleeping on his tummy and would not sleep on his back nor did he really liked to be swaddled (they don't swaddle in the NICU cause they have this little headrest & pillow around his head and all the wires are in the way). We couldn't stop staring at him.
My parents came by to visit on Sunday, my mom wasn't feeling well and neither was my dad, but my dad hadn't seen him (he didn't want to go into the NICU). My dad just adores Lil E as all do.

From where I left off.....

2011-05-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

So, I had Emry*s on December 10, 2010, 9 weeks early. I got to spend all of 5 minutes holding him after they checked him over and inserted an oxygen tube. I really didn't get to see what he looked like, but luckily, daddy took lots of pictures while they weighed him and measured him and whatever else they do with preemie babies. Having just had a c-section, I was in a lot of pain after the meds started to wear off. They gave me the mo*rfin drip and I hit that twice, but didn't really want to rely on it. DBF spent the night with me, it was very uncomfortable for him, to say the least. He went home the next morning to shower and get some "real" rest.
December 11th - Day one of babies life and also the day of our baby shower. I was really bummed that I didn't get to be there, but there was nothing I could do about it. Baby was here and he was all that mattered. Trying to get out of bed was torcher, I could not stand up straight and was in so much pain, but I wanted to hurry up and get better and be able to walk. Because I couldn't walk for very far I couldn't just get up and go see the baby, I had to wait for someone to come and see me so they could wheel me up to the NICU. No one came until early afternoon and I had only seen Emr*ys once the night before. My uncle and his daughter came in first and he wheeled me up to the NICU, that's when I first saw him all hooked up to monitors and feeding tubes, the oxygen had been removed, he was able to breathe on his on (which was totally awesome). I got to hold his tiny hands through the windows. I didn't want to pull him out of the incubator as my Aunt and DSD were also waiting to come in and see the baby. They came before the baby shower.

Lots going on since my last post....

2011-04-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

I was going to do a post, but thought I should see where I left off. I left off 4 days before all the madness in our life began (it has since calmed down). Sheesh, my last post was about my excitement for my baby shower, which, I ended up not getting to attend :(. I'll just start from the beginning of when the madness began:

Dec. 7, 2010 - I woke up like I usually do at about 3 AM to do my usual pee business, the norm when you are 30 weeks pregnant. I went back to sleep (luckily). I keep feeling like I had to go again, but was so tired I didn't want to get up, so I was keeping my legs crossed like a little kid does. It was finally 6 AM, so I decided to just get up and start getting ready for work. As soon as I got up, a gush of water went running down my legs. To say I was in shock would be an understatement. We had been sleeping on the couch since it was more comfortable for me, I wake up the DBF and tell him, "I think my water just broke". His response, "Are you sure you didn't just pee yourself." I look down, I don't think so!!! I go to the bathroom to see if I'm bleeding, I'm not, awesome. DBF gets on the net to see if he can find any symptoms of unusual leaking. I tell him I don't think he is going to find anything. I get in the shower, tell him to get ready cause we will be heading to the hospital to get checked out. I try calling my dr's office after my shower but it's some stupid recording and then I'm put on hold for what seems like forever, I hang up. I call my parents to ask them to let my other two sisters know DBF can't watch the kids today. My mom asks why, so I have to tell her, I am not good at lieing. My mom calls me back about 2-3 more times. First to ask what hospital, then to ask about DSD, I tell her we will be dropping her off at school at about 7:45 and then head over to the hospital. She wants to know why I'm not rushing over there, I'm not really having any contractions. I tell them I'll call them to let them know what is happening, they don't have to rush to the hospital. We get to the hospital around 8-8:15 AM, there is no one in the lobby/waiting area. I do have to sign in and wait to be called. I had not yet registered with hospital as I had not done the Birthing Classes (those were to start in 2 weeks). So I had to register, they put me in a wheelchair (all the while, I keep feeling little gushes of water coming out). My BF rolls me up to triage, I tell them I think my water broke, I'm 30 weeks. At first the nurses are skeptical, but when I get up from the wheelchair, it's wet. I get undressed, go lay down in a bed and they do the litmus test, sure enough, my water broke. I immediately get a steroid shot to help the babies lungs develop quicker in the event he is born soon. When they get done, I tell DBF, I bet my parents are downstairs already, he doesn't believe me. The on call dr comes in to check me, I am barely dilated to a 1, not really having any contractions, which is a good thing, baby needs to stay in there as long as we can keep him in there. The dr tells us our options at this time, we can stay at the current hospital, but if baby is born, he will have to be rushed to the Children's Hospital (and I won't be able to see him until I am released from the hospital) or I can get transferred to the other local hospital that does have a NICU. We say we will think about it. As soon as the dr is done checking me, who walks in, my mom. I looked at DBF and tell him, I told you so. My mom had walked in earlier but they were checking me so she stepped out. I get my IV put in, then I get to go to my own room. My dad & DBF go to get something to eat, it's about 11:30 AM now and no one has had breakfast (including me). I order something from the hospital menu. The dr comes in and lets us know that they have made room for me at the other hospital and that the ambulance will be picking me up soon. At this point we had not decided, but thought it be best for me to be seen by the high risk pregnancy dr and have the Neonatal team on site for the baby. I get transferred about 2 PM and get settled into my room. Nothing is happening labor wise and all is calm with the baby, good signs. I eat an amazingly disgusting dinner and try to sleep. It's pretty hard with blood pressure readings, IV drips, antibiotics drip, bathroom trips (which include unhooking the baby monitor and hooking it back up, traveling with the IV's).

Dec. 8 - I get my next steroid shot (ideally 2 within a 48 hour period is awesome). It's quite an uneventful day, we try not to have the baby today (it's my nephews 9th birthday today). I spend most the day alone, my parents come by in the evening and DBF comes by after putting DSD to bed. Not too much goes on. I'm not getting checked to see if I'm dilated as to not make it happen.

Dec. 9 - Another quiet day. One of my sisters comes by in the morning before she goes to work for about 1/2 hour - 1 hour. DBF goes home so he can shower during the day and watches my nephew and picks up my niece & DSD from school. They have dinner, then he comes back to spend the nights with me. He is a real trooper sleeping in the awful pull out beds they have. They do end up having to remove my IV, it's not working right anymore. While it's off, I take a shower, yeah!!!! Then they have to put another one, ughhh! Then come & check me cause they notice the babies heartrate drop. The nurse is moving around the monitor, she hears it, and it's good.

Dec. 10 - Morning starts out normal, just laying around, watching TV. DBF does his routine, so I stay by myself all morning & afternoon. I had just had lunch and I feel myself get really tired, as I'm dozing off, the nurses rush in. Telling me turn this way, turn that way, turn again. Put the oxygen mask on. I have no idea what is happening. They explain to me, the babies heartrate dropped and they are trying to find it. They roll in the U/S machine, but by then, luckily they had found it. I have to stay in the position I'm in for a while. Talk about scary, I call DBF and let him know what happens. I ask him to pick the kids up from school as early as he can and come stay with me. At about 4-4:30 the come rushing in again, babies heartrate dropped again. This time there is about 4-6 people. I have one person looking for the heartbeat, the RN is calling the dr. to update him. He was at another hospital delivering a baby and is on his way back. He says they are just going to do a c-section to start prepping me. I freak out, I call DBF and tell him to hurry up they are prepping me. I call my mom, no answer it's just about 5 PM and she is just getting off work. I call my dad, I tell him, I'm crying, I'm nervous & scared, he doesn't really understand why. As soon as my mom gets home they will head up to the hospital. DBF leaves the kids with his friend, my other sister was on her way, she has no idea what is going on. I text my other sister, she's worried and I can no longer respond. DBF arrives, packs up all our stuff. I get wheeled into the surgery room, get my epidural (I really didn't want one, but at this point, I had no choice). I lay down, I start feel my legs go numb. They check to make sure the NICU team is ready for when baby is delivered (at this point, I'm 31w1d). They bring DBF in. I didn't even know the dr had started doing anything, he tells me I'm going to feel some pressure as they are pulling baby out(I didn't feel anything). DBF tells me he's out, he is precious. I see the baby out the corner of my eye as they are whisking him across the hall. He does not cry, I am worried. I tell DBF to go with him. Dr. cleans me out, as DBF returns he gets to see my insides, asks the dr how things look for another baby, pulls out my ovaries and does bunny ears and states, they look great. He stitches me up, DBF goes back to check on baby. I get moved to the recovery room. They bring baby in for a few minutes, he has the oxygen tubes in, he is so tiny. Emrys John was born December 10, 2010 at 5:45 PM weighin in at 3 lbs 8 oz, 16 in long. I get sent to my room. I don't get to see the baby anymore until the next day in the afternoon (the day of my baby shower).

This is a lot to read at once, but I will update on the rest of the story very soon.

Counting Down

2010-12-03T16:35:00.000-08:00

I am counting down the weeks until we get to meet our baby boy. I am getting really anxious and these brax-hicks contractions are no joke. I can just imagine what the real labor is going to be like. It is so exciting that there are so many women getting pregnant. Lots of them are like us with step-kids or they have older children (10-15 year old range). I'm sure with X-mas around the corner the time is going to fly by.
I'll be having my baby shower next weekend. I can not wait to see all my friends and family and eat yummy food (like I can eat alot). I feel very blessed as everyone is so excited for us to be having a baby. They all know how much I adore children and I have always wanted to have at least one baby. Sometimes I still can't believe it. Even though I have a little person inside of me kicking, punching, moving around, it still doesn't seem real to me. I know once I see his cute, chubby cheeked face it will be so real, but until then, I'm just enjoying the moment of being pregnant. Who knows if this will ever happen again for me.
We are in the home stretch, appointments are every other week until the first week in January, then every week thereafter. I get to have another U/S due to there being some extra fluid detected around the babies right kidney. The dr didn't seem to concerned with it, and said it should fix itself by the time I go in for my U/S in 2 weeks.
Anxious, Nervous and Excited is how I am feeling about all this.

Are you serious?

2010-10-11T12:28:00.000-07:00

We had a nice weekend. SD was a little bit moody with us on Friday. Seems to be testing the waters a little, when I called her from her room, instead of sayin "I'll be right there", or "yes", I got a "What". Not once but twice. Was a little taken aback by that. Let's see how she acts with her mom this weekend and she called yesterday was something very important she had to tell SD. At least she had her dates and times of when she wanted SD for the holidays this year. Makes it so much easier on us when planning our time.
Do you want to know what was so important that BM tell SD? I thought that maybe it would be a trip or an opportunity that was coming up. But NO. She called to tell SD that she is pregnant, again, after only having taken at home tests and not having gone to the doctor to find out how far along she is, she is not out of the first trimester. It was Sunday that she called, so I know she had just found out, otherwise she would have called her sooner after she had her doctor appt on Friday. I congratulated her, and I am happy for her, but I do know that she did this on purpose. SD will have 2 siblings that will be months apart. I am due in February and her BM will be due in June/July. I felt like she rained on my parade a little by stealing my thunder with SD. We had also told SD that she could be in the room when baby was being born. Well, her BM decided to tell her that she could be in the room with her this time and SD got so excited. My sister happened to be there and SD yells to her, "You can go ahead and be in the room, I'll be in the room with my mom." Like it was no big deal. I was a little crushed to say the least. Not sure if I should feel like that or not, but I did/do. I shared with her how she made me felt and she did not apologize. She really didn't see anything wrong with her.
I let her know that I was excited for her, but not to forget about herself in this situation. At BM house she does not have her own room and belongings, she shares with her 3 year old brother and now with another on the way, things will be even more cramped. Oh well. I just hope her mom has a healthy pregnancy. I know she will be taking all kinds of precautions as the 3 yr old is also autistic. We will see how challenging things get for them.

It's been a long time....

2010-10-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

since I last posted. Things have been super busy in our household. SD is growing and continually changing into a young lady. We have been drama free for a while now, but that's because BM only calls about once a week. Last time she picked up SD was for Labor Day weekend, the beginning of September. She is trying to come pick her up some time this month, but I doubt it. She has only been picking her up on holiday weekends.
I too am continually changing, my boobs have grown 2 cup sizes and my belly has grown like I am ready to have this baby, but I have 18 weeks to go still. We are having a boy!!! I got my registry at Target completed, just wondering if I should do it anywhere else? Maybe. I have my spurts of energy but not as often as feeling tired though. I can not wait for this little guy to get here so we can meet him. I can feel him moving around and it is all just surreal. It wasn't supposed to happen, but it did and I am forever grateful that I get to experience this.
We have got some major cleaning to do at home, I just hope I have the energy to do some of it this weekend.

2 days in a row

2010-07-29T12:46:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will be 12 weeks pregnant, woohoo! I don't know why. but I had/have this anxiety of having a miscarriage. I've had no bleeding, and just some growing pains. I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow, so today is my "Friday" at work. I wish I was doing something fun in the morning, but I get to have a 3 hour glucose test done at the lab, so fun. The late afternoon will prove to be good (I hope), SD comes home from camp. I can't believe school starts in 2 weeks, oh my. We will have to get some school shopping done in the next week. The trips have to be short in duration, my legs start to hurt really bad if I am standing for too long or walking too much.
I hope you all have a great weekend!

Long time....

2010-07-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

It was a pretty quiet summer as SD was with her mom the day after school let out. We talked to her about 3 times the entire summer. Poor thing, she got promised so much between April & May. The plans constantly changed and ended up not being a whole lot. She was first told they were taking a "BIG" family trip. SD wanted to go to Legoland, that was nixed too far. BM suggested Disn.eyland, SD got excited about that possibility, then that was nixed. Also a long drive for them (her brother, who is 3 has au.tism, car ride would have been about 8 hours). Then another plan came about to go camping in Oregon for a week, SD thought that would be awesome, it didn't happen either. Something about no spots being available, only the week she was scheduled for camp. Then BM suggested that they would do a mother-daughter thing, which I was all for. Maybe they could go to a spa and get massages, mani/pedi, out to dinner, trip to San Franci.sco. Didn't happen. Can you imagine putting an 11 yr old through this. If you are not sure what is going to happen, do not tell the child. They did end up going to Great Ameri.ca and she did have fun there.
I had to pick her up closer to her BM's (last Thursday)or else we weren't going to be getting in SD in time, it was a 2.5 hr drive for me. SD was a hot mess when I saw her, her was all matted and wearing jeans and too tight white shirt with flip flops. Come on now, it's mid to high 90's, why is BM wearing a summer dress, while SD is looking like she lives by the beach. SD likes to talk, she talked for an hour straight and all she talked about was all the video gaming she did while at her mom's, come on now. No kind of educational stimulation all summer, we are in for some trouble when school starts in 2 1/2 weeks. This child needs to be kept reading and reviewing her multipl.ication & di.vision or else she forgets. For peets sake, they live right next door to a public library, why couldn't she go there for activities and read books.
SD is currently at camp this week, I dropped her off on Sunday afternoon and will pick her up Friday afternoon. Her BM wants her back next week, but her dad would like to spend a little time with her before school starts. They got to go water rafting last Friday & they had a blast together (I'm too chicken to go).
I also waiting for BF to tell SD that we are having a baby. He had her go and get my orientation paperwork from the medical group. She read one of the pages about preparing for a healthy pre.gnancy. She read it a few times and she finally got it. I of course got all emotional, she looked at me with shock in her eyes (a good shock). SD tells me, "but I thought you were sick and it couldn't happen." I told her, "me too, but it happened." She is excited about it though, but one of her first questions was, where is the baby going to go. If you have not moved to be a bigger place by the time the baby comes around, the baby will be in our room, but we are hoping to find something we can afford soon. It would be nice before the baby gets here.
My m/s is finally subsiding and next week I have an NT scan scheduled, hoping everything is okay. My clothes already don't fit me and my big shirts not ride up my belly. OMG, I am going to get big, and I am not even eating all that much, I eat about the same as before to be honest. I'll be 12 weeks on Friday. I'll try to write more often, for myself more than anything.

We're having a baby....

2010-06-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

Make a pregnancy ticker

We have yet to tell the SD or BM. I'm pretty sure SD will be over the moon excited, not sure about BM, she kind of wanted another one (she has a 3 yr old boy). It's pretty easy to conceal this from SD since she is spending the summer with her momma. We won't see her until the end of July (maybe sooner if we can plan a trip up there). I know I've been silent, but our life has not been drama free to say the least. Luckily I document everything on a calendar, so I can go back and remember what happened.

All is quiet...

2010-01-05T14:04:00.000-08:00

My lack of posting has been due to the fact that SD is still with her mama. She should be home on Saturday, if BM doesn't call and ask to bring her on Sunday.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas spent with friends & family making wonderful memories and that the New Year brings you nothing but joy.

All is quiet....

2009-12-22T16:40:00.001-08:00

and it seems a little scary. BM has been really nice and sweet, it's almost like the quiet before the storm. I have to appreciate it though while I can get it. The holidays have been becoming more drab in our family, I need something to spruce them up a bit. Nobody wants to get together anymore. What's up with that? It's not about the gifts, it's about being with friends and family and making memories. Oh well, can't force it on them if they don't want it.
I can not wait for all of the kids to open their gifts, they are so awesome (I think so at least).
It's getting down to the wire at work and the last 15 minutes are ticking by (I can literally hear the clock ticking). After today I am off until January 4, 2010, woohoo. I can not believe it is already 2010.
Sounding off, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Feliz Navidad and a Happy & Prosperous New Year!!!!

Weekend

2009-12-21T16:40:00.000-08:00

I am so glad that things worked out this weekend for SD. Her mom was able to come down and pick her up so she could go to her Grandma's Christmas party and she got everything she asked Grandma for. I was able to pick her up early on Sunday so that she could go to my nephew's birthday party, fun!
Though SD was gone, we did not have any alond time, me and the bf. My sister left my 8 year old niece and 19 month old nephew with us. Usually it goes smoothly as the bf watches my nephew M-Th while my sister is at work. Except the boy was not feeling well. He has some nasty poopy diapers and was not eating much on Friday or Saturday morning. After his afternoon nap he woke up ready to eat and did not stop. He ate so much, poor little guy threw up around 1:00 AM. I had to get up and clean the mess he made, so not fun. During the day on Saturday I took my niece to see New Moon, she really liked it, but kind of got scared and she hides her face during the kissing scene. She is hilarious.
So not ready for Christmas but it looks like it will be here whether I'm ready or not. Have a Holly Jolly Christmas and an exceptional New Year!

Why make plans?

2009-12-15T16:47:00.000-08:00

We made arrangements with BM before Thanksgiving for the holidays. She would have her for Thanksgiving week and we would have her for Christmas. Great! She also mentioned due to the snow where they live they didn't want to be driving up & down in the snow (they drive a Civic), this is understandable; so they wouldn't be picking her up the month of December until the day after Christmas and then keep her for the other two weeks of vacation. Cool!
Last week grandma calls and wants her the weekend of the 19th & we can meet her half ways. Then SG calls and wants her the same weekend. So last night I call grandma and she gives me her life story & I listen. I tell her there is no way we can make it out there. If someone wants to pick her up that is fine but we do have plans for Sunday as we were not anticipating her leaving this weekend. We actually had plans for the entire weekend, but to save the arguing we agreed to let her go if they will pick her up. After talking with grandma I have SD call her mom as we forgot to call her back last Thursday (we got busy & forgot). BM asks if she can have SD this weekend, I ask if she is picking her up, she says yes, I let her know about Sundays plans already scheduled. She has to call me back, not sure if she can drop off at time we are requesting. Still waiting to hear from her today. Then I have to call SG and let her know what is happening. Apparently her world got turned around as well because BM called to TELL her they are coming for Christmas. WTH! Are you serious? She doesn't ever take anybody else's plans in to consideration. SG had things to do and apparently after their last stay with her, it got ugly and feelings were hurt (SG's).
SG shared with me how difficult it is to have a relationship with BM. I know, I know. I gotta deal with it as well. After talking with SG for a 1/2 hour I was done for the night but still had work to do. I need to be paid some kind of compensation for being everyone's counselor. This sure does take a lot out of me, thank goodness I have a lot of patience, but it is beginning to wear thin on me. We shall see what happens.

Blogging

2009-12-10T14:04:00.000-08:00

So I intially got into blogging (not so much myself, but reading blogs) when I was interested in losing weight (still am, but currently doing nothing about it). Then I found blogs about infertility and these blogs really pulled at my heart strings because I too have a problem. Then I read a couple of step-mom blogs and thought hey, I'm one of those, truly, really one of those that lives it everyday of her life. Maybe that will work for me, and to some extent it has. Here is my "dilemma" per se, I always knew that the BF did not want anymore children. I was fine with that as I knew it would be difficult for me to conceive having PCOS and endo and now you can add overweight. Well last night, the BF tells me, "Can't they get your egg and shoot it up with my sperm and stick it in you (this would be Invitro Fertilization IVF)." I tell him yeah, that can be done. And he says, "it doesn't matter if you carry it or someone else carries it, as long as it's me and you providing everything." Okay? No idea where this is coming from, but okay. So I let him know that, hey, it costs about 10 grand to do that, and that is if it works. He tells me, "you don't really need a new car do you?" WTH!
People, do not get me wrong, I have always dreamed of having a child of my own, well, not just one but several. I was 19 when I found out about the difficulties that were going to be if I wanted a child. I cried and I still cry, every now and then when a friend or family member finds out they are with child. I think to myself, how unfair life is. I have rescinded to being childless and my womb never being filled with the life of a growing child. Now this! I know I am going to be absolute basket case when our attempts fail. I am the type of person that looks toward the negative for fear of getting my hopes up and then being let down. Inside I am just beaming and want show how elated I am to hear those words uttered out of the BF's mouth. On the outside, I am frowning and hurting because I do not want to disappoint the BF if nothing ever happens.
I'm not sure if I should start a separate blog if we do decide to go forward with trying to conceive (TTC) or just post updates on this same blog??? I do not even know where any of this is going to go, but I am terrified beyond belief that this is even a possibility. And the SD is already 11 and if it doesn't "take" right away she could very well be 15 before anything happens. That is a huge age gap either way. Not sure what to think of this.

Torn

2009-12-09T12:57:00.000-08:00

We have the SD until the 26th or 27th, not too sure as BM is constantly switching things up. Anyhow, I had made plans for us to do things every weekend so we wouldn't be spending them at home the entire time. Well, last week SD's SG called and wanted her to spend Friday night with her. I had already made plans for Friday, we went to her school's Reading night, they had Santa there and cookies and cider. All the kids got a free book. But I think SD is getting too big or "grown up" for that type of stuff. Saturday, I had went to go and take my CBEST and she hung out with her Dad. When I got home we went to the art musuem for Family Day and did some art projects and checked out the exhibits. After that, we went to the park and played disc golf for a little while. It was super cold and super windy by the time we got out there. We went home for a short time and then went to visit my friends newly purchased home. We did not get home until a little after midnight. Sunday we just relaxed, but we needed it.
This coming weekend I want to take a drive through X-mas tree lane in our town. But SD grandma wants her. And next weekend, I signed us up to help at the local food bank putting care packages together for X-mas and my nephews birthday party. And her grandma (mom's mom) wants her that weekend. They live about 2 hours away and I really do not feel like driving up there, nor can I because my car is not running too well. I hate to tell these people no, I'm not the mom, but if I let the BF do it, he is going to be mean about it. Here I am again trying to keep the peace. I hate being stuck in the middle. I am torn because I know the SD will have fun with her Grandma & SG but she will also get to spend time with Dad. What do I do? I hope I can make the right decision. I hate the holidays for this simple fact, who gets the child. It's not spelled out in the court order and we are currently not following the court order as SD is currently living with us. Can't wait for all of this to be over.

Phone Calls

2009-11-24T10:24:00.001-08:00

Do any of you get any phone calls from the bio mom asking for help in disciplining the child (in our case SD)? I dropped off the SD on Saturday at her friends to meet her mom and SG there. SD's grandpa passed away last Monday and they were here all week, but never made an attempt to call SD. I had to call Friday night to ask what time to drop off SD on Saturday. I digress... SD calls us on Saturday night asking for email password, she can never remember anything. I tell her but she still can't get in. So I tell her to go and visit, she hasn't seen her grandma since the summer (PEG's mom) or her cousins. She really doesn't want to and you can hear in her voice that she is not happy about doing that. While on the phone I can hear the conversations in the background and they are talking about caramel apples and SD says "I want one". I could hear her mom say, "NO" with disdain in her voice, as if to say you know better. We used to be really strict on the no sweets thing but have since relented as she is not so hyper anymore with chocolate. Before, you would be wise not to give this girl any candy or she would bounce off the walls.
Sunday, me and the BF are bumming around and the phone rings. I had no intention of answering but he does, he never does. It's PEG, SD was being rude to her mom and she doesn't want to listen. Come on now, control your child here, you are the grown up. SD was asked to help grandma vaccuum and SD said she didn't want, she does chores all the time at her dad's (which she does, but she gets paid for it). BF explains to PEG that she does have chores and that she does get paid for them. SD forget to mention that part. She also forgot to mention that she has bought some cool stuff with her money. BF has to calm down SD and PEG. WTH! This bugs me to no end but I have to keep my cool. I have never called PEG to tell her that SD won't listen to me, I nip it in the bud and I get respect from SD.
On another note, when I was on my way to drop off SD, she looked down and asked, "why do I have a banana and a bag of cookies?" I baked some cookies that morning and made her a little bag of 4. I reminded her that while I was doing her hair that she mentioned her tummy was hurting but couldn't tell if she was hungry or what. That is the reason for the banana. She says, "I have the best step-mom ever!" It really tugged at the heart strings her saying that to me. SD and I have a unique relationship that cherish!
Happy Thanksgiving to all! I am thankful for my relationship with the BF and his lovely daughter that is growing up to be such a beautiful young lady.

Exciting Weekend

2009-11-05T14:35:00.000-08:00

So SD had a blast with her friend on Friday night at a local churches trunk or treat. Saturday I was feeling kind of sluggish all day but kept trying to shake it off. I started getting SD ready to go out trick or treating around 4 so we could meet my sisters and my cousin with their kids. We started about 6 o'clock and it was about 7:30 when our night got really interesting, really fast all because of me. So I was walking my 19 month old nephew up to the house, he got his candy, but it had a couple of short steps that he did not quite know how to manuever a quick turn around so he kind of stumbled. I bent down to pick up thinking it would be easier. I felt a little trickle come out of my nose and thought, whoah, having some post nasal drip from my sinus surgery. Then it starts coming out a little more and I look at my hand and it is blood. I tell everyone, I'm having a bloody nose and I need some tissue. Wouldn't you know, nobody has any except my sister has some baby wipes. Well I take it, and it is soaked within a couple of seconds. I am holding my nose and I start gagging. I let go off my nose and blood is just shooting out like a water faucet so I quickly hold it again and start gagging again as the blood is draining down my throat. The BF says he is going to the car because I could not walk anywhere. He comes back rather quickly and I tell him to take me to the emergency room as it is not stopping. BF is quite nervous and is asking me to keep talking to him, I tell him to please drive carefully as I can not reach to put my seatbelt on (I am sitting in the backseat). We get to the ER and I have to wait to be checked in, then I have to give them my information which they can not understand because by this time, my sister gave me her sweater to hold my nose (which was white). So I sound all plugged up and nasally. BF walks in and does not understand that they need this information before I can be seen. We go sit down and 20 minutes later I get called back. By then the bleeding has slowed down. I have to blow out the blood clots so the doc can see but has a really hard time still. So he packs my left nostril as he states that that is the side that is bleeding. I go home by 10 and am extremely exhausted and hungry.

While we are at the hospital my youngest sister calls my parents and they rush over (no need). I appreciate them driving the 25 minute drive to the hospital but we could have just kept them updated by phone. My sister took SD to eat pizza, that was our plan to go trick or treating and then for pizza. My sister brought us back a pizza. I ate, took some pain medication as that packing hurt like haiti's when it was stuffed up my nose. I tried to sleep but couldn't really get comfortable as I had to sleep sitting up again. I get up around 2:15 and the BF is still up, so I go the bathroom and tell him he should come to bed already. I settle back in bed and feel like throwing up so I go to the bathroom with a tissue in my hand. By the time I get to the bathroom the tissue is soaked and I am shooting out like a faucet through my right nostril and gagging because my left nostril is packed. BF gets up, and gets me ready to go to the ER once again. They end packing my right nostril after a 3 hour wait this time and calling my EN&T doctor. I go home and try to get some rest but I wake every couple of hours.

Poor SD had to fend for herself for breakfast on Sunday as BF and I had just gotten back in about 5:30 AM. He was exhausted and drained from worrying about me and I was drained from all the blood loss. We got up around 3 and SD came and laid with me. We both watched Dancing with the Stars online and Ugly Betty. She tried out some new candies from her goody bags.

I usually do SD hair in the morning for school but she has had to do it herself 3 out of the past 4 days. She really still has not learned how to do anything with it, so all she does is brush out the tangles and let's go. She did really great on her report card so we have really been riding her because she got a D on her first spelling test of the quarter and she has been slacking off. I understand its because she has not seen her mom in two weeks and she is anxious as she is going to see her this weekend. I can not wait for the weekend to relax. I can't do much so it will be good.

Halloween Eve

2009-10-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

It is Halloween Eve and there is much to do. I barely got the last touches for SD's costume last night after having to sit with my sister because she got a flat tire or actually, a hole in her tire. I would have had all of her things ready much sooner, but life happens. As I mentioned before my grandma passed, so my life was pretty much all about driving back and forth from my home to my parents the last couple of days. Yesterday was pretty much the only free time I had and it needed to be done because, hello, she has to dress up for school. SD was a 50's sock hop girl. She looked quite adorable if I do say so myself. She wore this costume with her hair in a curled ponytail, white shoes and a pearl necklace. I made her cheeks rosy and her lips shiny. She felt so pretty compared to her costume with her mom last year. She so wanted to be a dead rock star and SD said she looked ridiculous. Her mom put something together that did not resemble what she wanted. Oh well, she tried. Tonight she is going to a trunk or treat and we will probably go to another one tomorrow as well in my hometown.
I love to dress up SD and she is finally starting to enjoy it as well. She still likes to do tomboyish things though and is not quite lady like. She is learning though. Everyone have a safe and fun Halloween!!!

So much going on....

2009-10-26T12:12:00.000-07:00

On Thursday PEG called being her unusually nice self and asked to pick up the SD on Friday from school because her husband had to be at the fire station by 6. (They live 3 hours away from us now.) We did not have plans for this past weekend so it would be okay, and she would be spending Halloween weekend with us anyways.
Friday morning I am brushing SD hair for school and notice some white flakes, thought maybe it was dandruff, I wish. Again she has lice, it was nits that were in her hair. After I pull them out SD mentions, oh yeah, there was one on my towel last night, look, there it is. Ughh! She was going to her moms this weekend so I had to call her and tell her. I decided to call her after my post op appointment. She sounds all defensive telling me she had nothing the prior weekend, which I find hard to believe based on the amount that SD had. PEG also asks me if I would be willing to help her fundraise for her son where I work. Her son was recently diagnosed with Autism and apparently they are having to foot the bill for his in home instruction (I really find that hard to believe, but whatever). Being the nice person I am, I said sure. I will leave the flyers out in our lunch room and on my floor. If people are interested cool, if not, I am not going to push it on them. We had the weekend worked out.
Friday around 1:30 my mom calls me to say that my grandma is not doing so well. I ask if I should get down there now or wait, she says yes, come. My grandma does not look at all. I spend the next 4-5 hours just sitting with my grandma while friends and family come to visit her. I hold her hand and tell her how much I love her. We all go home except for my sister who spends the night with her. Saturday I am on my way back to the hospital but stop at my parents first. Just as I am walking up to the door my phone rings and it is my sister, my grandma is gone. My sister is crying hysterically and I think she is with my grandma. My dad is walking out the house and drives me the 1/2 a mile to the hospital from his house. We walk in the room and my grandma is laying there peacefully. She had such a painful last couple of years and I am glad she is no longer in pain. I will miss her with all my heart and I know she will always be with me. My mom and her youngest brother were with her. They were standing over talking when my mom noticed that she was having a hard time breathing. She told my uncle and he went to get a nurse. When he walked back in he said her eyes are open, and she took one last breath.
This whole weekend has been a whirlwind after this. I had aunts driving from Texas to California but they did not make it in time to say good-bye. The next couple of days will be consumed with family and friends and funerals.

Been Sick

2009-10-20T11:14:00.002-07:00

I was so excited to get this blog started and then I got sick. Right after that, I had endoscopic sinus surgery that left me out all last week. I am so behind in my school work and trying to catch up at work as well. I hope to be able to update my blog to current status.
This weekend was one of the weekends that BM picked up SD. We dropped her off at our mutual spot but BM was not going to get there until closer to 8 so SD stayed with her friends and SG(step-grandma, SD's mom). When we went to pick up SD at 6 on Sunday I thought they were possibly running late as I did not see BM's car nor SG's. Being that BM got rid of her cell phone I had to call SG. SG answered and she said that BM, her husband and son had left a little early and left SD there with the friend. I said, oh, okay, I wasn't sure if they were running or just left her here. For some reason SG got upset when I said just left her here, and asked if I was insinuating that her friend was not a person we could trust. That was not what I meant by that comment but, whatever. She says BM has a way of turning things around and she did the same thing. Nobody had bothered to let us know that they would be dropping SD off at 4. Needless to say, no encounter with BM this weekend.
For the weekend before BM called to say they would not be able to pick up SD because they could not afford it. When I had called back SD was already in bed so she asked me to please make sure to let SD know they couldn't pick her up because they did not have the money to drive a total of 12 hours that weekend. How lame is that? SD does not need to be worried with how much money anybody has. I relayed the message because I knew BM would ask the next day, and she did.
Something else that happened over the weekend of the 10th was SD had something to ask me. She didn't know how to ask, so I told just spill it. She wanted to know if she could have some feminine products with her because she did not want to have an accident at school and be embarrased. I told her sure, she can keep one in her backpack and just slip it into her pocket when she needed it. She is eleven, and over the summer when she was with SG and two of her friends(1 boy, 1 girl). The other little girl got up and the boy told her, "you have blood on your behind." The poor girl was mortified and went in to change and could no longer go swimming. SD is desparately trying to avoid that from happening to her. Unfortunately for me, it happened all the time, but that is why I always, always, carried a sweater to wrap around my waist. It was not due to lack of preparation, it was just, it was that bad that I could not change it quick enough before it would leak through. Anyhow, enough about girl stuff. Just wanted to share some of the bonding that SD and I get to have just hanging around the house on the weekends.
I will try to update with how we are were we are now. It was a long road and it keeps twisting and turning and we know it won't be over for another 7 more years.

The Beginning

2009-10-08T16:09:00.000-07:00

Let's start from the beginning. I actually met sd a few months before I met the bf. How is that you ask? Well I met my bf through a mutual friend. When I first met sd, boy was she a handful, and who could blame the poor child. She was 4 years old going on 5 and had been on a faster ride of her life than I had been in all of my 24 years put together. I met sd because our friend and I got together for a play date. I was supposed to take my niece but she ended up having to go somewhere so I took my nephew. Between the sd and my nephew there was a considerable age difference. She really did not want to have anything to do with him. What's funny, is now when they get together they play the best and have less fighting than any of the other kids.

I could tell that sd required lots of attention and when she did not get what she wanted, tantrums were in full force. She wanted to constantly be hugged and carried. What you need to understand is, sd never looks her age, she is the jolly green giant, poor girl. She has her mama's genes. She is currently 11 and is the same height as me (not that I'm tall or anything at 5'1"). But boy was she a heavy girl.

When I met sd, her parents had recently separated (2003). She was having a difficult time with things, who wouldn't when your world is being torn upside down. After this play date, it would be just over a year before I would see her again. Mind you, I had not met the bf yet. I met him a couple months later.

My friend and I used to work out together and we were both with the same dance group. Boy did she enjoy going out to eat after a work out (I would usually say no thanks, which is why I lost weight then but it all came back, and more). It was around November 0r December when I met my bf, but did not know then that he would be my bf. We went out to eat at a restaurant I had never eaten at and he happened to work there. My friend caught up with the bf as they hadn't seen each other in a while. We ended up driving up to one of the local tribal casinos and got to know the bf some. I was currently back in a relationship that I should not have been in and he was coming out of a relationship that ended pretty badly. So I never looked at the bf with interest.

I was sure I would see him again, but more as a friend than anything. I would have never imagined we would be were we are given our past relationships. More to continue....

New Blog for topics relating to the "step" life

2009-10-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

I am new to wordpress, had a blog for maitaining my health but that is not working out. I got into reading others blogs about being step-moms and thought what a great way to be able to say what I want to others that could possibly understand me.

I am technically not an official step-mom as I am not married, though I have been with my boyfriend(bf) for 6 years this year. He had a 5 year plan and I asked him recently what happened to that plan. He had nothing to say. I have been in step-daughters(sd) life for this long as well. She is now 11 and I met her just shy of her 6th birthday. So I am no stranger to the drama that comes from the birth mom(bm).

I plan to update you on the history and background of how we are were we are. It is an absolute roller coaster, but I would not have it any other way as sd and I are close (though we will never be as close as she is with her mom) but we have some awesome memories together.

I can not wait to be able to hear from others for advice and comments on how to handle certain situations and how I can help others. I am 30 years old and have a good head on my shoulders. Let me just say, that me and the bf are counting down until sd is 18 and we do not have deal with bm on a constant basis.